Guy, I see forgiveness as transforming anger and resentment. Letting go to me denotes removing it from one’s life as though it never happened. Transformation means to acknowledge the pain, heal from it and create a new script for your life.

I also believe forgiveness is not about the other person, but you. Having said that, you needn’t love them to heal and experience the benefits of forgiveness, but forgive them and yourself for being involved in the circumstances. I don’t know of anyone who came to love their aggressor/conspirator. Your forgiveness is incomplete when/if the thought of that person causes you anger, resentment, hatred etc.

When I forgave my father who passed away over two decades ago, the thought of the events of my childhood no longer caused me pain, anger or other destructive emotions. I came to experience the greater lesson in the experience and both his role and mine. Forgiveness was the only way to heal and I was prepared to heal.

Healing is the destination and forgiveness is the vehicle that gets you there. First you must decide to heal and make that your priority.

All the best!

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Self-empowerment Author, Expert Speaker and Coach. Your Journey Towards Greatness Starts Here:

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