Not so much advice but my thoughts: My impression is that what you are going through is helping you to know yourself on a deeper level. Your ability to bring out your best self in dating/love/relationships will be dependant on your capacity to love and honour yourself. As the Hermetic aphorism states: “As within, so without.” Meaning: what takes place inside you will become apparent on the outside. Transformation is a difficult and messy process but one we must go through to discover our true selves. It does get better, so much better that when you discover your true self, you will savour every minute of solitude. This will echo in your relationships with others. All the best!