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You’re Not a Victim — You’re Addicted to the Pain (Here’s How to Break Free)
The Futility Of Holding On To Negative States
“One small positive thought can change your whole day.” — Zig Ziglar
I’d like you to try a small exercise: Think back to a time this week when you noticed your mood shift, perhaps from calm to irritated or hopeful to defeated. It may have been a text message you received that caused you frustration or a minor setback that filled your entire day. It’s easy to get annoyed by a hostile email, a missed deadline, or a misinterpreted comment.
Here’s the truth: what lingers in our mind isn’t just the event but how long we cling to it. What if I told you an emotion only takes 90 seconds to move through your nervous system? Knowing that simple fact, shared by neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor, has changed everything for me and hopefully you. Much of our suffering is not caused by the event but by how long we hold on to it.
It’s not the emotion that remains after the event but the story we keep replaying. When we break this cycle of rumination, we can live the present moment easily without the weight of the past holding us back. Oftentimes, we’re not interacting with what’s happening before us but repeating old arguments…
